Dear Adam Paikos, I love you. Remember when we were at Guilderton for New Years and you told me important things on the beach? I'll never forget it, or you. Love Jess.

Dear Miss Pantsless, Because I'm your friend foremost, I am happy that you are happy. Really. Though understandably (I believe) I am not totally thrilled by upstarts named Brad, who spoil perfect Melbournian holidays. So please continue with said happiness, and maybe think about me a little bit, sometimes. Especially when you're eating criminally inexpensive fresh cherries. xx Jess